A letter to my soulmate of 13 years

How do I start? While I was on the road thinking about putting this title into the blog-sphere, thoughts kept on coming. There were just a lot of right words. A lot literally. And now, I’m asking myself how to start this thing right here. I guess it’s just never ever easy to profess your love for someone who has grown so much through the years. Together with the whole you. The totality of yourself as a human being. It’s just never easy to pour out everything in one blog post. It is not just possible. Because even if the moment comes that we feel the need to express every reason that our heart beats for, there are just some things which can never be expressed in words. Nor actions maybe. And it’s just always never that easy to accept the path that has been laid on you when it means you are going to temporarily be away from that one soul that yours has been intertwined with for a gazillion years. Nevertheless, I will finish this post because you have always believed that I’m a writer and that you have always taken pride of my love letters to you, I believe. And I just can’t let this remaining chance pass by without writing an open letter to you once more.

So there, my soul mate, there’s this quote I chanced upon while reading Elizabeth Gilbert’s Eat, Pray, Love years ago. It says,

People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that’s what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave. A soul mate’s purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.”

I believe this is us. These are us. These have been us. These have been us for the past 13 years. For the past 7 months. We have pushed each other to our limits. We have tested each other’s loyalty. We have given excruciating pains to each other. We have hurt each other indescribably. We have thrown intensely hurtful words to each other. We have become untrue to our promises for each other. But we are here. Still together. Clueless on why the universe has chosen us to be together right here on this path that we are both standing at. All we know is that there is just one unexplainable, out-of-this-world, unimaginative, incomprehensible force that maybe binds us together. I don’t know what this has found on us. But it just continues to exist. And to say that it has been a roller-coaster ride is an understatement, my love. Heaven and hell do exist because we have been through both of them. And with that, I’m proud of you and me. I’m proud of us. I’m proud of the people we have become. I’m proud of the lessons we have learned. And I feel blessed about this once-in-a-lifetime chance of being able to have found my other soul in you. 

People may give their opinion about us based on what they see and who they are but I will always hold on to that one thing you always say, You and I know the true story.

Thank you for revealing to me that I can be stronger, wiser, more patient than I was before. Thank you for making me realize that I have a lot of love to give. That I just have to free myself from fear of any kind for that love to flow freely from my heart to the world. To love is to be courageous. Brave enough to fight all the hurdles along the journey. Because love is not just a fairy tale, there is just so much realities of life that go along with it. And no fearful person can love another. To love is to accept the totality of the person you love without conditions, without hesitations. To love is to be unselfish. To love is to free yourself from any grudge. To love is to forgive over and over again. To love is to hope for the best and leave everything to Him.

Wherever this road may lead us, we both know where we stand in each other’s lives. Until we meet again. In this lifetime. And in the lifetimes to come. I love you.


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