Pre-birthday blues

Patricia Evangelista has turned 23.

And I’m turning 23 as well in a couple of days. Well, becoming more in touch with your emotions as you grow older is an overstatement. You reflect on the things you’ve done since the age you’ve become aware of that consciousness thing. You have this so-called memory playback in your mind. And you tell yourself that all those historical deeds were considerably forgivable just to free your mind from all those intellectually stimulating remnants of the past. Excuses? You’re clumsy, impatient, stubborn, undomesticated, in a word, human-slash-procrastinator. And aside from those, you get smudges when you try to erase something you label as a mistake plus the recurring mental block whenever you struggle to write or try to talk about something. So now, you realize, after having broken a lot of rules and learning which rules are worth to break, that the decisions you’ve made from the time you cut your Barbie doll’s hair to at least resemble that of your mom’s up to the time your brain cells have become engaged in a mind-boggling deliberation on whether to stick to Imeedin or take Met again with vit C’s considering your body’s acidity which has just lately sunk in to your brain can ultimately affect the next decision that you are to make. And so on and so forth. In short, your future decisions. So now, you’re conscience has kind of developed a way of warning you to be careful everytime you’re about to get into complicated sits and your brain’s masculine side takes an off which tempt you to act on impulse. Simply because this time, it doesn’t want you to get burns anymore. So you take everything in moderation now. To at least save yourself from even further burns. And whenever possible, you detoxify. To be psychosomatically healthy. Because you believe that a healthy union of your mind and body is of absolute importance. Thanks to comfort philosophy for being greatly responsible for that. For more than 2 decades, you’ve got a fair share of regrets as well. But now, you could say that you’re at peace with that. Lesser intense dwellings. Only occasional flashbacks so far. You can never really make your life a 100% grudge-free zone anyway. And based on the universal standards of maturity, that’s a plus point to your maturity meter.So adding another year to your age only means another year of embracing every good/not so good thing that comes into your life. And for me, being another year more grateful for them is a choice. So whether I’m on my normal senses or not, thank you always:

Lord Jesus, for modifying any positive, -ing verb with unconditionally.

Dad and Mom, for adequate tolerance on minimal spoiled brattedness and extended financial support id est Love.

Kuya, for technical support.

Friends, for being experts in keeping sanity.

Relatives, for drunken affairs.

Mentors, for sharing.

Etc., for completing the picture. 🙂 


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